January

January. What is it about the month of January that immobilizes me so? Seriously. For a whole month it's all I can do to sit by the fire and knit. I love to cook, but can barely do even that in January. It seems that, on some deep soul level I experience this cosmic state of hibernation, barely functional, unable to get much of anything done. I WANT to do other things but I just...can't.

I wrestle with it every year, and try to understand it. I'm not depressed, and I don't have SAD, nor does it seem to be what you'd call a "post-holiday slump." I can smile and enjoy myself...as long as I don't even THINK about trying to get anything done. January is full of sad anniversaries, true, but by the time you get to be my age the yearly calendar has more anniversaries than you can shake a stick at. It's not like I'm in a bad mood.  I can name all the things it's not, but I have no idea what it is.

Every year it's the same, and every year I carry a huge burden of guilt over all the things I honestly cannot make myself do. And there are so many things to do! Blog posts to write, art to be made, late presents to be made and mailed, bread to be baked, holiday photos to be edited, housekeeping to be kept up...all the things I love doing. Yet I simply can't make myself to do any of it. 

I think that maybe it's time to recognize that this is how I experience January, and to honor whatever need it is I have to pull in my fences and give myself permission to do nothing but sit by the fire and knit for a month. Maybe there's some kind of wisdom waiting to happen in this hibernation. I'll never know until I quit guilting myself over the doldrums of January. Next year.

So, that's where I've been. In hibernation. And that's why all you wonderful ladies haven't received Christmas presents yet. I have been wrestling with January.

Meanwhile, it's FEBRUARY! Let the good times roll!